The guy on the left sells liquor, and the middle one owns a Diamond mine.

Today, Tuesday, March 23, the government of Sri Lanka announced that Akon, the long forgotten Senegalese-American R&B singer – known for such gems as “I wanna F**K you,” “Smack That,” and “I’m so paid” – had been officially denied him an entry visa. While many would wonder why such a talented musician would be prevented from entering a prestigious country like Sri Lanka, all it takes is a simple glance into the notoriously controversial artist’s recent past to realize that it was probably a really good idea.

According to Akon, his full name is Aliaune Damala Akon Thiam, even though his legal name is all that but one very important part – Akon. His shady claim of a three-year stint in an auto-theft ring dissolved in light of the fact that he’d never been convicted of a crime. And, it seems that Konvict Records isn’t even remotely the truth, considering how he has yet to spend a single day in prison during criminalistic years.

This sort of stuff isn't cool in Sri Lanka, Akon.

In truth, the man has fathered six children with three different women, and owns a South African diamond mine to produce the musical gems of auto-tuned perfection. Fortunately, for his musical career, he depends on something else other than his own god-given talent.