Does not protect against VD

Humping leads to several things, but let’s set aside psychological and emotional damage, along with alternating bouts of joy and guilt. Let’s focus on the more concrete results: babies and STDs. With little pills making more sex possible, it would stand to reason those two things would increase. A new study in the Annals of Internal Medicine just backed up that reasoning with regard to STDs.

Turns out, men who take erectile dysfunction drugs have two to three times the rate of STD infection of those who don’t. It gets grosser the more we think it through.

Studies like this go easy on making leaps as to why their results are the way they are, but that doesn’t mean we have to. So let’s.

First, people who couldn’t hump now can, so more people are exposed to STDs. Duh. But what about this: the manic, irresponsible or even malicious humpers out there never get as much humping done as they want. They’re limited by things like biology. But now when their penises demand a rest, they can overrule it with a pill and force it into overtime like an underpaid child in a third world sweatshop, blisters be damned.

And to freak us out even more, the study says the most-seen disease in these people is HIV/AIDS.