"Now that We're Here, Let's Talk Main Street"

John Oliver went to Hawaii to walk on the beach, eat grilled-seaweed-wrapped fish form the ocean, and to watch fireworks while drinking exotic fruit cocktails. But, none of this exhibits the typical elitist democratic behavior, which Fox news claims is out of touch with the everyday American. Mr. Oliver was just trying to get an interview with the Republicans, while they  attended their modest winter convention (held in Waikiki).

In the interview, he got answers about how the Democrats are elite-college-attending-goody-goodies who have no idea about what the average American needs. Fortunately, they had time between their hot-stone massage and private submarine tours to discuss the “everyman’s” reality of the Republican party with him.

Conventional Tea-Party Wisdom Says

In other news – the Amerigasm! The All-American trifecta of perfection: a Superbowl, Ronald Reagan’s birthday, and the Nashville Tea-Party Convention! It happened over the weekend, where Tom Tancredo gave a crowd-pleasing speech about the committed socialist ideologue, Barack Hussein Obama, who found his way to power upon the shoulders of those who can’t spell ‘vote,’ nor say the simple word in English. Products of all sorts (like t-shirts and jewelry) were readily available to those in attendance; and so, those in attendance were readily available for purchase.

One can only hope that main street is soon covered with sand, and that one day the brilliant protester doesn’t have to dumb-it down to be understood by the opposition.