The HOst of The Daily SHow on Comedy Central

Jon Stewart went political on Senator Chris Dodd, aka the Democrat from Connecticut – aka the Banking Committee Chairman – when he learned of the Senator’s decision to pull the emergency brakes on any possible bi-partisan negotiations for healthcare reform. Senator Dodd announced that he would draft his very own bill, which was expected to include: an end to “too-big-to-fail bailouts;” the invention of an early warning system for future economic catastrophes; and finally, the introduction of transparency and accountability in hedge-funds and derivatives, or as the Senator himself called them, “exotic instruments.”

But, Mr. Stewart had heard all this jabbertalky already, his attention was focused on the consumer watch dog, a small and independent entity meant to protect consumers. In his excitement,  Jon recommended getting the watch-dog laser eyes, a jet-pack, and adamantine claws, on top of Dodd’s humble promise to get it a louder bark and a stronger bite.

The New Consumer Protection Agency

Later on in the show, Stewart goes on to explain the normal world, where people who sell fraudulent products go to jail, and how it differs from the realm of Mr. Lehman, where it’s okay to package something in gold wrapping paper and call it pure gold. He describes how corporations hire third-parties to rate their assets for far more than they are actually worth, and that if they still fail to find investors, they simply establish another corporation, in which the hide their garbage stocks. Stewart sites Citi as an example, since they were reported for having two segments of operations: one being, Citicorp, which had good stuff, and the other titled, Citi Holdings, responsible for hiding the parent company’s trash from view.

In the end, this episode teaches everyone how to act like a corporation, and turn their $900 dollar piece-of-junk Volvo into a $10 million Volvo-jet.