Does not protect against VD
Humping leads to several things, but let’s set aside psychological and emotional damage, along with alternating bouts of joy and guilt. Let’s focus on the more concrete results: babies and STDs. With little pills making more sex possible, it would stand to reason those two things would increase. A new study in the Annals of Internal Medicine just backed up that reasoning with regard to STDs.
Turns out, men who take erectile dysfunction drugs have two to three times the rate of STD infection of those who don’t. It gets grosser the more we think it through.
Studies like this go easy on making leaps as to why their results are the way they are, but that doesn’t mean we have to. So let’s.
First, people who couldn’t hump now can, so more people are exposed to STDs. Duh. But what about this: the manic, irresponsible or even malicious humpers out there never get as much humping done as they want. They’re limited by things like biology. But now when their penises demand a rest, they can overrule it with a pill and force it into overtime like an underpaid child in a third world sweatshop, blisters be damned.
And to freak us out even more, the study says the most-seen disease in these people is HIV/AIDS.
A new study is bound to produce a worldwide echo: “Is that why Dad got a hearing aid?” There will then be one second of silence, then another echo: “Ewwww.”
Apparently, using Viagra doubles the chances of hearing loss in men over 40, according to the results of a study recently published in the journal Archives of Otolaryngology. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration issued a warning of this possible side effect from erectile dysfunction drugs in 2007 and this study bolsters that theory. The sample size was relatively small and no hearing loss correlation could be established with other, less popular drugs. It also included only self-reported hearing loss, which makes validity less stable than it could be. However, researchers have already established a relationship between erectile dysfunction drugs and hearing loss in mice.
If further studies bear out these findings, men in need of assistance may be facing a hard decision. Of course, some won’t consider it a tough call at all … one way or the other.
Maybe the significant others should remind their men, the next time the kids come home for the holidays, to turn the hearing aid off. I hear those things can have trouble with the cacophony of a collective “eww!,” which will happen the next time they all walk into a living room and see their dad has a little machine in his ear.