“Written by: Kathleen Mulvihill”

Remember the Ouija Board, the game owned by Hasbro Inc. that gained notoriety as demonic in recent decades by mainstream religions and some occultists? You don’t often find it in your local Toys R Us much anymore, but the online version is readily available and offers a delirious amount of intrigue, entertainment, fast-paced answers and a bit of disturbance if you don’t watch out.

Imagine getting the answers to your most curious, personal or intimate questions in the blink of a planchette. That’s the name of the heart-shaped piece of wood used as the movable indicator to convey the spirit’s message by spelling it out on the board. If you are unfamiliar with the Ouija Board phenomenon, here’s a primer:

Ouija, also known as  spirit/fire keyboard, or talking board, is a flat game board containing letters of the alphabet, the numbers 0-9, the words “yes,” “no,” “hello” and “goodbye,” along with various symbols. Ouija is said to mean good luck in Egyptian, but this is widely debunked as there is no such Egyptian word. It is generally agreed that the Ouija Board was commercially introduced in 1890 by businessman Elijah Bond and was regarded as a harmless parlor game. However, as it gained popularity, several Christian religions and certain occultists took issue with its claims as harmless entertainment. Instead, they cautioned against its potential to draw negative spiritual forces into the players’ realm and do harm. The scientific community, on the other hand, says that it is the user’s unconscious movements, or the “ideometer effect,” that produces the Ouija’s answers.

Caveats aside, today’s computer technology provides everyone who is willing with the opportunity to look into his or her future with the click of Ouija online. This Ouija player, ever so curious about America’s future, asked the mystery board a few questions. To wit: Who will be our next president? Answer: Obama. Will the Occupy movement succeed in effecting change in the United States? Answer: Cloudy. When will the U.S. economy really improve? Answer:  2014.  Will the country stay out of a new war for at least the next two years? Answer: No. Will a woman become president in the next decade? Answer: Yes. Will America be safe from major natural disasters for the next few years? Answer: No. Is the Ouija Board telling me the truth to the best of its ability? Answer: Check back later.

So there you have it – an inanimate object that largely knows how to give a straight answer when asked. Maybe it should be entered into the next presidential debate. What do you say, Ouija? Answer: Conditions unclear.