Today, Tuesday, March 23, the government of Sri Lanka announced that Akon, the long forgotten Senegalese-American R&B singer – known for such gems as “I wanna F**K you,” “Smack That,” and “I’m so paid” – had been officially denied him an entry visa. While many would wonder why such a talented musician would be prevented from entering a prestigious country like Sri Lanka, all it takes is a simple glance into the notoriously controversial artist’s recent past to realize that it was probably a really good idea.
According to Akon, his full name is Aliaune Damala Akon Thiam, even though his legal name is all that but one very important part – Akon. His shady claim of a three-year stint in an auto-theft ring dissolved in light of the fact that he’d never been convicted of a crime. And, it seems that Konvict Records isn’t even remotely the truth, considering how he has yet to spend a single day in prison during criminalistic years.
In truth, the man has fathered six children with three different women, and owns a South African diamond mine to produce the musical gems of auto-tuned perfection. Fortunately, for his musical career, he depends on something else other than his own god-given talent.